When Fangirls Attack
by Snowboarding Lash
Summary: Have you ever wondered what It would be like if you and your guy could meet? Well this will explain eveything! Cowritten by Musical Meme
1. Itachi

Everything was perfectly normal. The two cloaked figures walked in silence until the younger one couldn't take it anymore.

"Who the hell are you and why do you keep following me?!" The Sharingan holder yelled to the thing clinging to his leg.

"I love you Itachi ♥!" Was all it said.

"You've told me that for the past 3 days! Now get off me!" The boy screamed trying to yank the thing off his leg. The other cloaked figure began to chuckle. "Stop laughing you impudent little fish man!" This made the man cackle louder. "SHUT UP!" The boy yelled as he continued to shake the freak off. The man fell over clutching his stomach.

"Itachi," The man stated in between a laugh, "I, I never knew a little girl, a little girl," The man began to burst out in laughter again. The other, still trying to pry the girl off his foot, narrowed his eyes, "could make you, P.M.S. SO BADLY!" Now the man was roaring in laughter with tears forcefully rolling down his face. Itachi fumed as his dignity and pride was being shattered by this…girl…

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU KISAME!" Itachi screamed. Kisame, who picked himself up, clutching his stomach from laughter, made a run for it. Itachi began to chase the shark-man…except for one problem.

"I love you Itachi ♥!"

"WILL YOU GET OFF?!"

I love you Itachi ♥!"

Kisame approached the two and picked up the girl. He then stretched out her cheeks and showed her to Itachi.

"Itachi-san, she's adorable! Can't we keep her?" Kisame cried giving his best 'puppy dog look.'

"No."

"Please, she's cute!"

"NO!" The girl then clinged back to Itachi

"I love you Itachi ♥!"

"DAMN IT! SCREW YOU GUYS!" Itachi pulled out a kunai and stabbed himself in the heart, instantly falling over dead. Suddenly something emerged from the forest.

"Itachi, I am here to kill you and avenge my clan." Sasuke stated getting in his fighting pose. He soon saw his brother dead and some weird freaky…girl? Clinging to his corpse. "I have no purpose in life." Sasuke depressingly stated. He then pulled out a kunai and stabbed his heart joining his brother. Silence arose. The two living people stared at each other.

" So… You want to get some lunch?" Kisame asked. The girl shrugged and the two headed for the nearest town.

Lesson learned:

Fangirls are the reason our hotties Kill themselves. Please, respect their space.


	2. Asuma

Okay, as we all know this story is co-written by The One Who Meeps. This capter is written by her and viola

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"Good work Shikamaru. Now, go back to the village and make sure not to get yourself killed." Asuma stated while waving his hand in a dismissing motion, sending the weary Shikamaru home. Wiping the sweat off his brow, he sighed in relief. "Looks like the village won't need me during the war." He smiled and closed his eyes for a brief respite.

"Oh, Asuma-kun, aren't you sweaty?" A sweet, seductive, feminine voice rang in Asuma's ears. Asuma, startled, jumped to his feet with paranoia.

"What the hell?" He turned around to see a girl with a strange look in her eyes. "What do you want, and who are you?" The girl merely stared at Asuma with a piercing look that rivaled the Byakugan.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Asuma-_kun_." she said placing more emphasis on the -kun suffix. "Don't you know the answer yet? I want...**you.**" Filled with desire to get away from the possessive girl, Asuma clasped his hands together to form a seal.

"Sorry, but I have a war to fight, so BYE!" Asuma disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving the unknown girl alone. In an instant, he reappeared at the front door of his house. "Thank Kami-sama I got away from her, or I might have-" Asuma opened the door and was greeted by the strange girl. With his mouth gaping like a fish out of water, he had no time to react when the girl pulled him into his house and bolted the door.

At this point, Asuma was hyperventilating and 'slightly' panicking. "What the...how did.. inside?!" He asked with his voice small and squeaky.

The girl placed her fingers on Asuma's lips. "Suma-Chan," Asuma fidgeted at this change of address, "don't say anything." With that, the girl took Asuma's cigarette out of his mouth.

Suddenly, Asuma gasped and his eyes began popping out. "gack Need...cigarette..._s-moke_," he managed. Just then, Asuma had a heart attack and fell over dead.

"Damn it. I nearly captured him for the 'We-Love-Asuma-Fanclub' too." Poking at his dead body, she furtively looked around the apartment, making sure there were no people watching them. The girl then dig into Asuma's vest pockets and held up what she found; a box of cigarettes. "Souvenirs!" With a skip in her step, the girl left to sell the cigarettes at a decent price on Ebay©. Asuma lay dead on the floor of his apartment.

Lesson learned: When fangirls take things that don't belong to them, it will always cause dangerous effects. Please respect their stuff!

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Well what'dya think? It sucked didn't it? Itachi's was better! (Dodges boot's and other items being thrown by The One Who Meeps)

Sigh, review to make The One Who Meeps happy! 'Cause if not, she'd probably give you rabies!

Lash...who is now running away from The One Who Meeps...AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!


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